i think i only use this to vent now but whateva

yesterday i barely ate and didn’t eat the dinner i made myself and then drank a LOT. i went to dave matthews band and i think i really needed a base for all that alcohol. I’m such an idiot and this guy i kinda like and my prom date literally BARELY acknowledges me…..he seemed so pissed off with me. and then on the way back i got so insecure because of that and started crying because a song came on that me and my brother used to always make fun of in the car and i miss him so much, cause this is his bday weekend. i don’t think anyone saw me cry but i just seemed like i was a mess. the pattern with this is how much i consume before i drink!!!!!! i can’t drink on nothing seriously…

Anonymous asked: You've got a dayum fine body girl.. but seriously you're really hot, don't ever think anything but that ;D you're beautiful and your hair is amazing. I think you're gorgeous

hahah thank you thats really nice

i can’t take this i can’t i can’t

i need a different life even my body is shutting down

I just need to vent a second.
Its too hard to deal with myself. I literally don’t know where all this self hate and lack of confidence came from.. For too long I’ve suffered with the mentality of someone with an eating disorder and being the rejected child. I.need.fresh.air

it’s about to happen again, watch out.

it all starts with a little Adderall habit